Everyone has days when they’re tired and emotional. I seem to have them a lot. I’ve often been frustrated at what I perceive to be my flakiness, and people often tell me I wear my heart on my sleeve. It’s probably not for everyone, but if that’s you as well, I have some encouragement for you.
God designed women to be women. He seems to prefer us that way. For this reason, it’s futile – and damaging – when we tell ourselves to “man up”. We’re not made to man up! We’re made to take what we are as women and turn it into glory.
Living by your feelings is dangerous, I’m told. I’m not quite sure what’s meant by that phrase. If it means “doing what you feel like”, then sure, it’s irresponsible and inefficient. But try as I might, I have never managed to turn my emotions on and off like a tap. Not without help. It takes me a long time to shut off the waterworks; I have to get to the end of the plumbing first.
This has been very frustrating, and I’ve asked the Lord about it. His response? A very individual one: “I can’t get THAT” (my creativity) “without THAT” (my emotionalism). Since clearly He values the creativity He put in me, He seems content for now to let me work through the flakiness. A wise woman once told me that we are created body, soul & spirit for a reason.
So should I settle for being a deep feeler? Yes. Should I let it all hang out? No. I still think that we should be circumspect with the time and place and company, to the best of our ability, when it comes to venting our emotions. I probably bleed on my friends too much. And certainly I need to keep a tighter rein on myself during certain times of the cycle; it helps to be able to pull back and say, “Oh – today, this meltdown is 80% hormonal, I needn’t take it so much to heart.” It makes it easier to pull myself up and move on. But it sure is comforting to know that God made me a woman, a creative, deep-feeling woman, because He wanted me that way, and has a purpose for it all. I aim to get the most mileage out of it that I can.